I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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