pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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