Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
