fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
