And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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