I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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