Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize