yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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