the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
