dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
