Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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