I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
