you guys were way drunker than both of me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.