lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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