I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
