I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he puts the penis in happiness.
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No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out