no. you can't hotbox the world.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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