I must be too annoying 4 u.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
