you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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