OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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