whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
These tits shall not be calmed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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