Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My life is pants optional.
Randomize