i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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