meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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