That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
