The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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