Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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