Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He? As in you personified your dick?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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