Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
