Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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