You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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