from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
