I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
