I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
