I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
