If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
