Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
