I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this boner is exhausting
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
