your thong is hanging out like whoa
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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