There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
handjob tips. give me some.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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