i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
