Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
