Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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