8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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