my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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