This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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