so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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