At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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