Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize