We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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