we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
