just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
