It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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