I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
