I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
