found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
