after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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