I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
