Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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