He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
