It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
