You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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